Joel West, Comic

First things first: Dave McConnell.

Now onwards...

A confession: I am an unauthorized comedian. I don't have my union badge. I don't belong to The Comedian's Guild. I don't have my funny papers.

And in some senses, that is an absurd statement. Laughter is an instinctive thing. Intuitively we all know what is funny. And yet in our culture we pay people to make us laugh. That's their job. We even have the amuse-a-tron (AKA the TV and computer). And the unwritten statement is 'amuse me now you piece of shit!'

So let's say I do get off my fat ass (mine is) and decide to go out and be amused. Well, first there is sketch comedy. And improv. And plays. We have movies for people to go see. And finally there is stand up comedy.

If you live in a big city, there's the local comedy club, the Laugh Trough. That's the place that for 99% of the year, Bill Anonymous the headliner, along with Roger Middle and Local Hack the MC all do their best to make you laugh. If he's lucky, Bill will have played on HBO or Comedy Central. He or she may have been on Last Comic Kvetching. Or won a local contest. Roger is on his way to becoming a headliner. Local Hack is making notes and 'rewriting' some of Bill's best bits, diluting them and making them his own. Occasionally the BIG club will hire a name headliner. They will tack on $5.00 to the price of the ticket and bump the drink prices up a dollar as specials. Or the local Theatre Centre will have a bona fide 'CELEBRITY' comedian one who has become famous and charges $100+ a ticket, so that you can see the new stuff that they are prepping for next year's sit com. As an encore, they may do the piece you saw on Letterman 3 weeks ago.

If you live in a big enough city, they may even have a comedy festival. This is where the young guns used to get their chance. Now, usually, it's people who will be a draw. They may chance a few newer comics who will appeal to all. Squeaky clean. Sanitized comedy.

And then there's me and my mates. Where do we fit in the eco-system? Nowhere. We do comedy at the Laugh Trough on open mic nights, if we are lucky enough to get a spot. Sometimes we will open a comedy night at a local bar or cafe. But, my friend, we are not authorized comedians. We don't fit. So who does fit?

Are you already a member of ACTRA. Have some credits? Or SAG or AFTRA in the US? Are you young? Do you have a 'look'? Do you have a hook or a gimmick? Are you already represented? It really doesn't matter if you are 'funny'. What matters is that you get the rhythm down. That the audience thinks you are funny. See Andy Kindler's Guide The Hacks Handbook. There you can create HOURS of material. If that doesn't work for you, then you may want to take a class in Stand Up comedy. And of course, market yourself.

Some of the absolutely funniest people I know just don't fit. They are hilarious. They are just not going to get cast as the hero in the next buddy pic. They are not going to get cast as leading men. Some of these people don't fit the Hollywood mold. . But MAN are they funny!  Grumpy's Bar, for example,  on Tuesday nights has an open mic where anyone can do whatever act they choose. There are musicians and spoken word artists. And of course, stand up comics, hungry to try out new material.

It's not all bad. I get to perform. I work hard at it. But I know the reality, and the reality is that unless I suddenly lose 20 years and suddenely get a look, I am never going to be a star. Because these days, authorized comedy wants a package and baby the package ain't me.

So what did I learn?

At the industry sessions, I learned that it's hard to write for late night TV. I learned that The Onion is secretive (and hilarious. Actually I knew beforehand that they are hilarious). I discovered Jim Jeffries. I met up with some old aquaintances and learned that we were still aquaintances.

What was really brought home for me, what crystalized, is the difference between comedians, good old stand ups, and the industry people. When I go to my local comedy club and I perform it's easy for me to forget that comedy is ubiquitous. It's on TV, on the radio and on the Internet. I can always find someone trying to make me laugh. Radio DJs hire joke writers.  Funny or Die and College Humor as well as other sites were well represented at Just For Laughs. And their needs are not the same as my needs. Or the needs of the stand up comic.

When we talk comedy we are talking several completely different eco-systems.

A stand up comic requires a light, a stage and a PA system. That's all. It's pretty cheap. A sketch comedy troupe writes its own material and generally requires a stage, a lighting person and a director. Funny or Die doesn't care whether or not I killed last night at Big Bob's Laugh Stop in Hooterville, Wisconsin. What they post is video clips. And their clips are generally skits. To create a skit, I need actors, a video camera and a director. A writer. A 5 minute sketch can take all day to produce.TV has other needs. It's a completely different eco-system from stand up and video sketches. Movies have huge budgets and take months to complete. And the Movies and TV are terrified by the Internet.

So ultimately what did I learn?

I learned that while consumption of comedy and comedic media are greater than ever, nobody knows how to make money from it. And people are scared and because of that Industry people are not making deals any more. I learned that I love performing and that many of my peers, my fellow stand ups, respect what I do.

I learned that in my secret heart of hearts that one day I will be performing at Just For Laughs whether they know it yet or not.

Tomorrow... Authorized comedy.

The past few days I took in some of the Just For Laughs festival in Montreal, where I live. While I am a comedian, I wasn't a show comedian. I got to attend some industry funtions. I met some people that, normally, would have been completely off access. There's a big "But". I was also excluded from a lot of parties and debauchery. I didn't know about some events that I could have easily attended until after they were over. Also I still work a day job, so the two big events that I wanted to attend were completely closed to me. What follows then, ot a completely self centered approach to the past few days and also a completely subjective approach to what I liked, what I disliked and what I really don't give a shit about.

Tuesday night I just hung out at The Comedyworks a local club, which was hosting "Best of the Fest". Prior to that I was doing 'unauthorized comedy'. Yes, Virginia in the comedy industry, especially in Mobtreal, there is mainstream authorized comedy, and alternative unauthorized comedy. Do the two intermingle? Sometimes. That was the case on Tuesday night where I performed a set at Bistro L'Etranger and then walked over to the 'Works'. At the 'Works' and outside, Local comics were milling about along with Industry people who were in town early. The club was gracious enough to have a live, closed circuit, feed to the bar downstairs and the Industry people were gracious enough to talk during the feed. Still I saw some comedians I knew, some that I didn't and I did leave early. Early by Montreal standards, that is to say, midnight. I met some old friends. I met some old aquaintances. Mostly it was a nice evening.

Wednesday I wasted. Bad Joel! Yes, I wasted an entire day. I do, I will reiterate, have a day job and they pay me to work. So I worked.

Now, more secrets. I was slipped a pass to 'Zoofest'. Now Zoofest is not Just For Laughs. Think of it as JFL's place for acts that are not strictly stand up. There is one noteable exception and we'll come to it in a few paragraphs. But the cool thing about a Zoofest pass is that, unless you were being careful and keeping people out of events (like industry parties), a Zoofest pass looked like an all events pass. It got me immediate acceptance from the people who didn't know better.

Thursday was the Keynote speech. And damn it I had to work, so I missed it. Shit, fuck and damn. But the thing I was looking forward to on Thursday night was a movie. The screening of "American: The Bill Hicks Story". I -hearted- it. I really loved the movie very much. It made me happy. And leaving the movie I got to meet the directors. The directors are STILL looking for distribution sp PLEASE PLEASE contact them and make them an offer someone. It will be worth it. It's a documentary, it's really well done.

From there my friend and I caught Jim Jeffries' show "Alcoholocaust". Here is where the Zoofest pass came in handy. I got to walk in and see the show. For free. No ticket required. Awesome!

The show itself was remarkable. Funny, yes, in a very mainstream, way. (Disclaimer: I prefer 'alternative and non maintream acts). A full hour show with the most remarkable part for me being the last 25 minutes.

And from there (I am a boring man) I went home.

Friday, Friday, Friday!!!

Friday Afternoon, Andy Kindler made his state of the Industry address. I was working. Damn! Friday Afternoon Paul Provenza signed his new book Satiristas. I was working. Friday Afternoon, Doug Stanhope did a show across the street from the Festival at a local car wash. I was working. You get the picture. Next year I will be taking that week as part of my vacation. And that evening, I had a gig. More unauthorized comedy. But I got back to town sooner than I thought. I tried to get a rush ticket to the Alternative show. Sold out. I was able to hang about the hotel where the Festival was centered. I was not able to attend a party given for industry and comics. Damn you Zoofest pass! I did get to meet up with a couple of old aquaintances and buy a $5.00 coke. Hooray!

Saturday was, for me, what the festival was all about!

I got up bright and early (10 AM) and slowly made my way down to the venue. I attended a couple of industry conferences. I rubbernecked and looked about for famous people. I had a $5.00 bottle of water and hung out on the patio with some old aquaintances. Mostly fun.

At 7 PM was a screening of the new TV show Children's Hospital. It's holarious. Set in a fictitious hospital, the show covers the relationships, sex lives and even, sometimes, the medical goings on. It will be on the Adult Swim portion of Cartoon Network and it is hilarious. Watch it. Support it. Go to Adultswim.com and view it.Then com back. Do it now, I'll wait!

I'm going to end this post here and continue tomorrow.

Sufficeth to say it was an awesome time and in the next post I name drop.