Joel West, Comic

First things first: Dave McConnell.

Now onwards...

A confession: I am an unauthorized comedian. I don't have my union badge. I don't belong to The Comedian's Guild. I don't have my funny papers.

And in some senses, that is an absurd statement. Laughter is an instinctive thing. Intuitively we all know what is funny. And yet in our culture we pay people to make us laugh. That's their job. We even have the amuse-a-tron (AKA the TV and computer). And the unwritten statement is 'amuse me now you piece of shit!'

So let's say I do get off my fat ass (mine is) and decide to go out and be amused. Well, first there is sketch comedy. And improv. And plays. We have movies for people to go see. And finally there is stand up comedy.

If you live in a big city, there's the local comedy club, the Laugh Trough. That's the place that for 99% of the year, Bill Anonymous the headliner, along with Roger Middle and Local Hack the MC all do their best to make you laugh. If he's lucky, Bill will have played on HBO or Comedy Central. He or she may have been on Last Comic Kvetching. Or won a local contest. Roger is on his way to becoming a headliner. Local Hack is making notes and 'rewriting' some of Bill's best bits, diluting them and making them his own. Occasionally the BIG club will hire a name headliner. They will tack on $5.00 to the price of the ticket and bump the drink prices up a dollar as specials. Or the local Theatre Centre will have a bona fide 'CELEBRITY' comedian one who has become famous and charges $100+ a ticket, so that you can see the new stuff that they are prepping for next year's sit com. As an encore, they may do the piece you saw on Letterman 3 weeks ago.

If you live in a big enough city, they may even have a comedy festival. This is where the young guns used to get their chance. Now, usually, it's people who will be a draw. They may chance a few newer comics who will appeal to all. Squeaky clean. Sanitized comedy.

And then there's me and my mates. Where do we fit in the eco-system? Nowhere. We do comedy at the Laugh Trough on open mic nights, if we are lucky enough to get a spot. Sometimes we will open a comedy night at a local bar or cafe. But, my friend, we are not authorized comedians. We don't fit. So who does fit?

Are you already a member of ACTRA. Have some credits? Or SAG or AFTRA in the US? Are you young? Do you have a 'look'? Do you have a hook or a gimmick? Are you already represented? It really doesn't matter if you are 'funny'. What matters is that you get the rhythm down. That the audience thinks you are funny. See Andy Kindler's Guide The Hacks Handbook. There you can create HOURS of material. If that doesn't work for you, then you may want to take a class in Stand Up comedy. And of course, market yourself.

Some of the absolutely funniest people I know just don't fit. They are hilarious. They are just not going to get cast as the hero in the next buddy pic. They are not going to get cast as leading men. Some of these people don't fit the Hollywood mold. . But MAN are they funny!  Grumpy's Bar, for example,  on Tuesday nights has an open mic where anyone can do whatever act they choose. There are musicians and spoken word artists. And of course, stand up comics, hungry to try out new material.

It's not all bad. I get to perform. I work hard at it. But I know the reality, and the reality is that unless I suddenly lose 20 years and suddenely get a look, I am never going to be a star. Because these days, authorized comedy wants a package and baby the package ain't me.

So where did I leave off? As I recall I was telling you all about my JFL experience and promised to drop some names. Hmmm...

So, I did chat briefly with Harland Williams. And Mike Wilmot. And Derek Edwards. And Angelo Tsarouchas. And Derek Seguin.  I had a photo taken with Orny Adams. I schmoozed some with 'Mama' Jo Anna Downey and Cal Post. I shook Andy Kindler's hand. I got a hug (swoon) from Kristen Von Hagen. I also met some comedic actors. And one thing I will say for absolute certain: Stand up comics, real bonafide stand up comics are generous with their time. Not so much comedic actors. Not so much at all. And agents, managers and talent scouts will talk to anyone as long as you are willing to listen. And you might ask yourself, why the difference?

The answer is simple. Stand up comics, real true blue 100% stand ups, rely on being able to communicate. They need to be able, in as few words as possible, to talk to anyone. It's a skill. Within the first minute of a stand up performance they need to be able to get to you. Not so much a comedic actor. Their job is to communicate with a camera. With a director. And with Regis Philbin. Period.

Also a comedian has different worries. A comedian is contantly deconstructing conventions. Taking things apart. Looking to make funny. A comedic actor is worried about giving a good reading. And by giving a good reading, I mean learning to swallow. A comedian is creating a full performance. A comedic actor is usually reading someone else's words. And an agent, essentially a business person, takes 10% and who knows what the next big thing might be?

So, Just for laughs brings those elements together. And also, Just For Laughs attracts clubs owners. People from the studios. Guys and gals like me. And regular members of the public.

And it all comes together, for me at the Saturday night Alternative show.

Why the Alternative show? Why not, you may ask yourself, one of the galas? First, I like my comedy gritty. I like it real. At the Galas the big name performers put on a longer show. There are some wonderful acts, but remember, the galas are also sanitized for your protection. You may hear one or two naughty ripostes. But you will not see down and dirty stand up. The kind that goes for the jugular. So then you may ask, why not the dirty show?

Because I am not interested in a dirty show, per se. It seems to me that a lot of 'dirty' comics try too hard to just be dirty. I wanted 'cutting edge' comedy and that's what I found at the Alternative show. Andy Kindler the host of the Alternative Show is a comic's comic. He has written the 'Hacks Handbook' a great guide on how NOT to perform comedy which is also hilarious. I fell in love with Natasha Leggero. And Neil Hamburger. Garfunkel and Oates are two of the most talented women in the world. Mark Little. Just Mark Little. None of their acts was a standard 'What about that airline food, what's the whole deal with condoms. I'm half irish and half pekinese'. All original cutting edge but not to everyone's taste. For me, this is what Just for Laughs is all about.

And after the alternative show is when the real party started, Back to the Hyatt. Up in the main lobby bar perhaps 300 or 400 or the top comic talent in North America, their agents and managers and hangers on all schmoozing and drinking and on the patio smoking until 6 AM.

And tomorrow: What did I learn?