The major issue facing the Republicans this year is not taxes, unemployment, housing, education, foreign policy or even the economy as a whole. Instead, the issue is Mitt Romney, because nobody actually likes Romney, not even his own party. It’s hard to get the American people to digest the fact that of the field who originally started: one abandoned her American citizenship and became Swiss, one can’t even run his pizza franchise without becoming a cultural stereotype, one is certifiably crazy, one is full of “Santorum”, one is a racist millionaire and the front runner, the one that the party will have chosen has more skeletons in his closet than the propmaster for The Mummy. Yes, Mitty is multibillionaire. Yes, he is a member of the LDS church. And yet, if the mainstream press actually let loose, if they actually explained what Mitt Romney stands for, what he actually believes, the campaign would be over and Obama would easily win a second term.
Of course, the mainstream media has a long history of publishing the stories that informed the public about government wrongdoing. Stories like Woodward andd Bernstein’s Watergate expose and the Pentagon Papers come to mind. By the same token, the press has a long history of colaborating with the powers that be. A major example of that is the Thomas Eagleton affair. And, it doesn’t hurt that most of the American media these days is owned by, so called, conservatives who have a vested interest in defeating the President. But I digress.
The real question is, attacks aside, what does Mitt Romney believe. The answer to that question is, whatever he thinks you want to hear. His record is so very blemished that when you take all of his assertions and compare them to his negations what comes out is zero. Mitt Romney is NOT a flip flopper. He is far more dangerous because he believes, on record, in what you think he wants you to hear. Give him a concrete issue and he changes his mind again and again depending on the audience and this is dangerous because in private as chief executive is his job to set policy. Romney has one major belief and that is in Mitt Romney and not the welfare of the USA.
Such a man is desperately unlikeable. He can charm and compell individuals. He cannot con a nation, unless that nation is willing to be conned, unless those people are so desparate that they are willing to believe a cheap grifter in a good suit, which is all that Romney, ultimately, is. And that is Mitty’s Achilles heel. Ultimately, Romney is not a likeable person. His cheap, half assed flirtation with Donald Trump is a terribly sad attempt to buy friendship and credibility and is ultimately doomed to failure because in doing so Romney is associating himself with Trump’s stable of freaks. “Mitt Romney, You’re fired”.
You might ask yourself, why would a National political party want to associate themselves with a man who’s wife has to assure us that he has a sense of humor? Who is so unlikeable that he has to buy friends? A loser bully who is so dissociated from reality that he doesn’t even know that he is lying? The only people that would associate with Psycho Mitt is a party that is so divided internally that they can’t even decide what their own platform is and have had it imposed from the outside.
The GOP is at a crossroads and is in danger of fracturing into oblivion. While from the outside all we see is a bunch of whitebread, plutocrat, religious crazies, the internal picture iss far less cohesive. There is the Republican old guard, people like Cheney, who will make their mother fuck a goat if that is what it takes to get elected. There is the religious faction. There are the fiscal wingnuts. Gingrich represents the old guard, Santorum the religious
right and Captain Wacky, Ron Paul, represents the lunatic fringe. Romney, is from the old guard, as his daddy was an old Nixon aide. His being a devout member of the LDS church makes him almost acceptable to the Christian wackos and the fact that he is financial privateer makes him almost acceptable to the fiscal loonies. It’s not that any one group actually want him. It’s that Mitt Romney will do anything for enough money, prestige or power. There is nothing that Mitt Romney wouldn’t do if it would guarantee him the presidency. And that makes him pliable and seemingly emotionless.
It is an indication of how desperate the GOP suits are, that they are trying to humanize Mitt the Robot, to make him appear to be a man of the people. This effort, might work with a candidate who is ultimately human, like Richard Nixon, but Shitty Mitty is so unloveable that even his wife is shilling for him. When you have to say things like “People who know Mitt say he has a sense of humor” then you know he doesn’t. It’s like saying, “My Mom says I’m handsome”. While this is still a long way from November, and while Mitt has yet to be chosen as candidate, you can smell the desperation.
When Richard M. Nixon left the Whitehouse in disgrace he left behind a mire of corruption and deceit and a stain so disgusting and foul that all American politics is still tainted by its memory. It is not enough that a candidate be honest, she or he must be seen to be honest. Integrity, for whatever it is worth, is really the only stock in trade that any American politician has any more. And then, there is Nixon’s bastard political child, and son of one his key advisors, Mitt Romney.
Mitt, ostensibly, has a very gentle demeanor. He is a church going man and has a family. He is from middle America, the place where mayonaise is considered an exotic condiment and where the people, like the bread, are white. He has gone to great lengths to create an image of himself, just a man, a family and their dog, trying, even struggling, to survive in these troubled times. The truth, is completely different and that is the issue. I don’t care that Romney has a huge personal fortune. The fact is that he dissembles, that he pretends to be someone that he is not, and that iss what makes him suspect in thee first place.
Let’s forget the other lies. Let’s forget the bullying, the dog torture, the misrembered truths, the jobs he stole from Americans, the greed, the fact that Bain Capital has the morality and scruples of a buzzard, the fact that he cheats at Solitaire (Disclaimer - I don’t know that he cheats at Solitaire). Let’s put them all aside and ultimately we are still left with a man who wants us to belive that he lives one life while he tries to live another. The issue with Romney is that he is an American plutocrat, a very wealthy man, that his company Bain Capital harvested jobs from Americans and sent them overseas that he likes being a bully, that he lies when cornered and when all is saidd and done, he still believes that he is better than you.
Given the current political race, and what not, it is crucial that Republicans(tm) come together and show a united front. True Americans (tm) must present a single cohesive dogma and show non believers, be they Communists, Homosexuals, Atheists, New Yorkers or just Canadian, the error of their ways. It’s not enough to call yoursself a Republicaan(tm). You have to agree with all other Republicans(tm). Hence, this small effort, which was commisioned by the Republican(tm) Association To Succeess or RATS.
1: President Obama was born in:
A Kenya
B Kenya
C Kenya
D Hawaii (Which is part of Kenya)
2: The President’s middle name is Hussein. This makes him:
A A Moslem
B A Muslim
C Not Christian
D A Jew
3 President Obama supports Gay Marriage. This makes him:
A Homosexual
B A Jew
C A Liberal
D All of the above
President Obama in his last 4 years:
A Contributed to the opium trade
B Cost Americans Jobs
C Conspired with the Elders of Zion
D Openly pushed the Gay Agenda
My feelings toward education:
A I dropped out of high school
B It’s okay as long as you do it in private
C It’s Gay
D Someone had to read this quiz to me
Mitt Romney wants your kids to become educated. He wants this so badly that he is willing, when he becomes President, to give you a voucher. This voucher would entitle your child to “one education” at the school of his choice, with the curriculum of his choice and the teachers of his choice. Each school wouldd be paid a minimal amount per student and have to guarantee that only approved ideas would be taught. Non approved ideas would be suppressed and those schools would be defunded.
This is because free thought is the one thing that truly threatens Romeny and his gang of thugs. They want you to accept what he says as truth, unconditionally. They want you to not question a thing. Up is down. Black is white. Hawaii is Kenya. Mitt says so. This is also becausse in Shitty Mitty’s world, education is a comodity. Too many scientists talking about evolution? Take away their funding. Too many astronomers talking about Big Bangs? Restrict their funding to the Naval observatory. Literature iss nice and so is Philosophy but theey don’t pay the bills. Eliminate them. History is dangerous. In Shitty Mitty’s universe we teach our version. America was created so that Joseph Smith could found the New Jerusalem. Everything else is in books. If you want the books your name goes on the list. No reason.
I am often called a “progressive”. While I prefer that to being called “regressive” I would say that my personal politics are more active than that. It’s not that I disagree with most Progressive policies, it’s that they don’t go far enough. Let me explain. I think that most self called progressives would agree that Mitt Romney and his ilk are a waste of space. By Romney, I don’t mean Conservative or Republican. I can get along with a real, educated, intelligent Conservative. By Romney, I mean a lying, cheating, bullying scum bag who believes that all people are idiots and that it is his natural divine right, by divine fiat, to impoverish people financially, medically and spiritually. Yes, I have opinions. In contrast, Barrack Obama, while not a great man or even a great president, looks like a saint.
I am not denigrating the President. I am certain that he is a good man. If I could vote, I would certainly vote for him, especially given that the alternative is a cess pool in the shape of a Mormon. And yes, Obama makes Bill Clinton look good and compared to George W. Bush, President Obama is a genius. That’s not saying much, since a five year old with Down’s syndrome is a genius compared to “Dubya”. But, I digress.
America is the home of Harvard and Yale and it is the home of Bob Jones University. America is the place where a scholar can be president and it is a place where a political candidate can run for office with an unacredited Law Degree. (I’m looking at you Michele Bachman). It is a place where some of the very best cuisine in the world is created and presented and where you can get a box of fifty McNuggets for ten dollars. It is the home of some of the very best art and culture in the world and it is the home of “Jersey Shore” and the Kardashians. It is the home of the Pulitzer Prize and it is the home of Fox (we make up the) News. America is the place both world wide devastation and Snooki’s vaginal itch are given equal play, equal import, equal weight.
How can you decide what is important when the information you get is delivered to you by a company whose owners have a stake in what is reported? Or is made up? How can you make an informed decision about voting when both sides are owned and operated by the same companies? How can you live in a country where a corporation is given the same rights and priviledges as a person, without the responsibilties of personhood? How can you help a culture, where those who have sacrificed to defend that culture are discarded like a used condom after that culture no longer has use for them? What credence can you give a society where it’s citizens would rather give more weight to an insane actress than to scientists? Where one of the major “religions” was invented by a science fiction writer in 1952 and another was invented by a con artist who wanted to cohabit with more than one wife? Where the superstitions of a pre-civilization people are taken as facts? Where a law maker wants to decree that Pi be exactly equal to 3 (like in the Bible) and where another wants everyone to have at least average IQ?
I wish I had the answers.
It would be simple to dismiss Mitt Romney as a simple sociopath with a mayonaise coating, but we serious people don’t just call people names. We dig for facts. We weigh and balance, we caution and then we mete out our reasoned and balanced judgement in well crafted sentences. Even if I believed, for example, that Mitt Romney is so pure that he masturbates to the photos of women’s foundation garments in the Sear’s catalogue, it would be wrong for me to assert this as a fact. The fact, however is this, underneath the Mormon mask, Mitt Romney is a liar of the Richard Nixon variety. Romney and his ilk are the reason that the USA is now despised and feared around the world, not as a nation of men, but a nation of cowards. But I digress.
Romney is a liar. Oh, the pundits think that they are being cruel when they say that he ‘flip flops’ but let’s say that he lies. He lied about thee automotyive industry, he lied about living in his kid’s unfinished basement, he lied about his conduct in school, he lied about health care. The man probably lies on his taxes, not that we would know as he refuses to release his income tax documents. The last public official to make such a refusal was Spiro T. Agnew and here we are back to Nixon.
He is a bullying Gay basher who likes making his dog ride on the roof of his car in the name of fun. This is the same kind of fun that kids have when they decapitate squirrels and pull the legs off of spiders. He tries to take credit for the work of others and gets hurt when you point it out. He says one thing and then does the exact opposite. His core beliefs seem to be that of Al Capone or Bugsy Siegel and Murder Incorporated.
His company, Bain Capital, buys companies, milks them for every liquid penny, probably borrows heavily on the asssets, pays dividends and then declares bankruptcy. This methodology borrows heavily from the tactics of the Cosa Nostra. The now unemployed workers are left to fend for themselves. This is the man who opposed bail outs to the auto industry. Because of the bail outs, Romney and his cronies were prevented from pillaging the American auto industry. Now that the auto industry has recovered, he is taking credit for the recovery. This is more than nerve. In a word, this is sheer psychopathy.
I wouldn’t trust Romney with my grandmother, and she’s dead.
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Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is an untreated alcoholic and drug adddict. He may also be a compulsive over eater and sex addict, but, he has definitely been arrested on several occaisons for impaired driving, posssesion of drugs and refusing to blow into a breathalyzer. He has shown by his actions that he is imperious, restless, irritable, discontented, paranoid and delusional. Also he has no sense of humor. And he’s just butt fuck ugly.
Apologies, to anal sex enthusiasts. I don’t want any sex act to conjure up the image of Rob Ford.
Mayor Ford’s “Cut The Waist” challenge, where he was going to lose 50 lbs. has been so successful that he has gained weight. He has proven to be a figure of fun and is so riduculous and inefective that he is despised and taken as seriously as a villiage idiot.
Now, Mayor Ford wants to purchase a piece of public land, because he feels that he is insecure without it. He will take this public green space and build a fenced in compound for alcoholic, drug fueled orgies. And he says he wants to do this because he says he feels scared. He needs security. He needs his hand held. He is under attack.
Let’s look at the evidence. Who has actually physically attacked Rob Ford?
One attack on Rob Ford came in the form of comic actress Mary Walsh of the satiric show “This Hour Has 22 Minutes”. Ms. Walsh is a multiple award winning comedienne, actresss and is well known in Canada. She has previously ‘attacked’ Toronto Mayors, many Canadian Premiers, Prime Ministers and Governors General and not only did the ambushed survive, but, in many cases, her ambushes actually helped the “victim’s” cause. Rob Ford, being the delusional paranoid that he is, just called the police. Well played, Rob.
Attack number two was even worse. His wife’s sister’s ex boyfriend got drunk and started pounding the door after midnight. And no, our mayor does not live in a trailer park even though the above actions might make you want to place him there. He lives in the suburbs.
The third attack was even worse. The mayor was being investigated by the press and instead of a newspaper reporter, in his paranoid alcohol fueled delusions, he saw a peeping tom.
And now the Mayor feels that these attacks are justification enough to allow him to buy public land. Look Rob, I know you’ve gained weight on your diet but that doesn’t mean you need to buy more land. You just need to stop the gravy train, to your mouth.
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Please note: Everything that I have written below is either fact, opinion or speculation. Any facts that cannot be verified should be taken as opinion. Take that libel laws.
The 2012 election is boring. All the really interesting GOP candidates have dropped out of the race. The survivor is so boring and sad that he should be bottled and sold as a sleep remedy. Yes, I mean Mitt Romney. The saddest part is that to keep his name in the news he has had to have his own people leak scurrilous and defaming history about himself. He is a pathetic excuse, not only for a candidate or Governor, but also for a human being.
I don’t even think that Romney knows that he directly contradicts himself. He just wants to be president. He is willing to use any means necessary: lies, contradiction, bullshit, magic tricks, razzle dazzle, and bribery. And he is physically and emotionally incapable of using razzle dazzle. He is boring.
I know that his wife and friends say he has a sense of humor. This is like your mom saying that you’re handsome. They might believe it but we don’t believe it and it doesn’t make it true. And then to prove how madcap and wacky Governor Android can be his people release a story illuminating what a merry prankster he is. Turns out, that Mitt the Wit, the prep school grad, used to harrass “an effeminate” classmate. That’s right campers, Mitty the witty is pretty shitty. His sense of humor turns out to be grounds for criminal charges. Haahahahahaha!
All of this aside, Mitt Romney has been cast as Dean Wormer and his crew are Alpha House. He’s supposed to lose in the end. And in comparison, while President Obama is no Delta house, he is much more palatable and just plain likeable. He’s like the rescue team in Revenge of the Nerds who saves the Lambda Lambda Lambdas just in the nick of time.
So what can Mitt Romney do to save his campaign?
If I were him, I would have an empathy chip implanted.
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Dear Diary
I don’t get what all the fuss is about. Mitty is a good man who, when he has a job, tries to provide for us. The fact that he teased a sissy boy, for being a sissy boy, is not wrong. It’s what real men do. That’s how we know who is better and a natural leader, and who is a lower class of person. It’s the way the universe was created.
There is a natural order to the universe. The strongest are leaders. Those who are lower, serve. I wouldn’t expect to bring Lupina, the cook, a cup of coffee in the morning, just like she wouldn’t expect me to bring it to her. It’s wrong and it might give her ideas. In the same way, sissy boys are there to be teased until they mend their ways or become hair dressers. It’s just natural.
Similarly, these gays and their ideas of wanting to be like normal people is just wrong. They aren’t normal, they never will be normal, and giving the same rights as normal people is just giving them a hope that is tragic. What ever happened to the days when men could live together and sleep in the same bed and nobody thought anything of it. Or that two women could be spinsters together, not being good enough to have a man, and finally die in the same house with their cats. All this talk of ‘rights’ is just sad.
Even worse is that man in the White House. He’s giving all sorts of people the wrong message, just by being president. What happened to the days when people knew where they belonged in society?
When my Mitty becomes president, life will become simpler again. Men will be men, women will be women, sisssys will go back to doing what it is that they do and those wrong headed women will go back to being gym teachers.
This is my hope for America.
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Dear Diary
May the Lord bless Ricky Santorun and his lovely wife, what’s her name. In endorsing Mitty for president Ricky Santorum has shown that Catholics are almost as good as Jews. I should really talk to Mitty about baptising dead Catholics next, so they can also enjoy the glory of the after life. Of course that might cause some sort of hooraw, but what can you do, if you’re just trying to do good and ignorant people can’t see it.
I remember that one time when Ricky and what’s her name came over one day on governor’s business and Ricky got his fingers caught in that Oriental finger trap. We laughed and laughed and Ricky fell over again and hurt his head again. Lupina had to get him a bandage and Jorge had to get the shears and release him from that thing. And he wanted to drink water from a sippy cup. Still, if his endorsement of Mitty means anything it will be worth putting up with him and what’s her name.
It’s terrible that Mitty has to keep defending his ideas. Of course he was responsible for the revival of America’s auto industry. By refusing to give them the money that they so desperately needed they had to become smart and resourceful. The fact that they did finally get the money that saved them from the federal government is a true testament to Mitty. He made them work for that money in true Christian fashion.
The fact that the Liberal Press wants to deny my Mitty the true credit for saving the economy almost makes me want to withdraw some money from one of his Swiss bank accounts and buy Cleveland, but Mitty says that since he’s unemployed right now, we have to budget and simplify. I know if we could get the message out to common Americans how like them we are, that we understand them and their trials, Mitty would be a shoe in for President. Still, it’s extremely daunting and hard to live on a budget of $20,000 a week. But I try. If things get too bad we may have to explain to Lupina and Jorge that we simply can’t afford both of them and that while $100 may seem a lot, it comes out of our monthly living budget. Of course, they are so much a part of the family, perhaps I could convince them to live with Seamus, and that no, we wouldn’t make them ride on the roof of the car, but that if they wanted to travel with us, that the Caddilacs are full.
Now on to Tampa Bay!
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