Joel West, Comic

Dear Officers:

I know it’s scary out there. There are all sorts of trouble makers. They do not respect you or your authority. They scorn what you have to say. They belittle you and your orders. They are undisciplined and rowdy. Thus my letter to you.

Remember why you are out here. You are here to preserve order. If someone is protesting our wonderful Torontonian or Canadian way of life then, by definition, they do not love order. Any protester is a potential enemy.

These people are sneaky. They dress as ordinary citizens. Suspect everyone.

There are some give aways. These are subtle and crafty people so, as a tip, when preserving order, arrest everyone. If anyone refuses to identify herself with proper government issued identification, arrest them. Remember, that although there is no law requiring them to so, we who love law and order will support you.

Don’t attack people on bicycles. They wear helmets and padding.

If someone questions an order, arrest them. They obviously do not respect the authority of your badge. They are undisciplined and must be made an example of.

We will provide you with weapons. We know you have guns, but we will make available to you tear gas and sound cannons. Remember, the best defense is a good offense. You are at war with the citizens of the city. And you will win.

The most important thing is that the G20 meetings happen undisturbed. Forget about normal day to day business that until now was lawful. Forget about about the rights of citizens to lawfully congregate. Forget about the fact that until now Toronto had a wonderful reputation that has now been besmirched with fire, gas and blood. It all means nothing.

The imperative is the meetings.

Remember that your reputation is under attack.

Keep the peace at all costs. Even war.

Kim Il-sung

President

North Korea