Joel West, Comic

First things first: Dave McConnell.

Now onwards...

A confession: I am an unauthorized comedian. I don't have my union badge. I don't belong to The Comedian's Guild. I don't have my funny papers.

And in some senses, that is an absurd statement. Laughter is an instinctive thing. Intuitively we all know what is funny. And yet in our culture we pay people to make us laugh. That's their job. We even have the amuse-a-tron (AKA the TV and computer). And the unwritten statement is 'amuse me now you piece of shit!'

So let's say I do get off my fat ass (mine is) and decide to go out and be amused. Well, first there is sketch comedy. And improv. And plays. We have movies for people to go see. And finally there is stand up comedy.

If you live in a big city, there's the local comedy club, the Laugh Trough. That's the place that for 99% of the year, Bill Anonymous the headliner, along with Roger Middle and Local Hack the MC all do their best to make you laugh. If he's lucky, Bill will have played on HBO or Comedy Central. He or she may have been on Last Comic Kvetching. Or won a local contest. Roger is on his way to becoming a headliner. Local Hack is making notes and 'rewriting' some of Bill's best bits, diluting them and making them his own. Occasionally the BIG club will hire a name headliner. They will tack on $5.00 to the price of the ticket and bump the drink prices up a dollar as specials. Or the local Theatre Centre will have a bona fide 'CELEBRITY' comedian one who has become famous and charges $100+ a ticket, so that you can see the new stuff that they are prepping for next year's sit com. As an encore, they may do the piece you saw on Letterman 3 weeks ago.

If you live in a big enough city, they may even have a comedy festival. This is where the young guns used to get their chance. Now, usually, it's people who will be a draw. They may chance a few newer comics who will appeal to all. Squeaky clean. Sanitized comedy.

And then there's me and my mates. Where do we fit in the eco-system? Nowhere. We do comedy at the Laugh Trough on open mic nights, if we are lucky enough to get a spot. Sometimes we will open a comedy night at a local bar or cafe. But, my friend, we are not authorized comedians. We don't fit. So who does fit?

Are you already a member of ACTRA. Have some credits? Or SAG or AFTRA in the US? Are you young? Do you have a 'look'? Do you have a hook or a gimmick? Are you already represented? It really doesn't matter if you are 'funny'. What matters is that you get the rhythm down. That the audience thinks you are funny. See Andy Kindler's Guide The Hacks Handbook. There you can create HOURS of material. If that doesn't work for you, then you may want to take a class in Stand Up comedy. And of course, market yourself.

Some of the absolutely funniest people I know just don't fit. They are hilarious. They are just not going to get cast as the hero in the next buddy pic. They are not going to get cast as leading men. Some of these people don't fit the Hollywood mold. . But MAN are they funny!  Grumpy's Bar, for example,  on Tuesday nights has an open mic where anyone can do whatever act they choose. There are musicians and spoken word artists. And of course, stand up comics, hungry to try out new material.

It's not all bad. I get to perform. I work hard at it. But I know the reality, and the reality is that unless I suddenly lose 20 years and suddenely get a look, I am never going to be a star. Because these days, authorized comedy wants a package and baby the package ain't me.