May 2012
13 posts
17 tags
Mitt Romney - I Robot
The major issue facing the Republicans this year is not taxes, unemployment, housing, education, foreign policy or even the economy as a whole. Instead, the issue is Mitt Romney, because nobody actually likes Romney, not even his own party. It’s hard to get the American people to digest the fact that of the field who originally started: one abandoned her American citizenship and became Swiss, one...
9 tags
Nixon's Legacy
When Richard M. Nixon left the Whitehouse in disgrace he left behind a mire of corruption and deceit and a stain so disgusting and foul that all American politics is still tainted by its memory. It is not enough that a candidate be honest, she or he must be seen to be honest. Integrity, for whatever it is worth, is really the only stock in trade that any American politician has any more. And...
4 tags
So, You Think That You're A Republican(tm)?
Given the current political race, and what not, it is crucial that Republicans(tm) come together and show a united front. True Americans (tm) must present a single cohesive dogma and show non believers, be they Communists, Homosexuals, Atheists, New Yorkers or just Canadian, the error of their ways. It’s not enough to call yoursself a Republicaan(tm). You have to agree with all other...
5 tags
Re: Education
Mitt Romney wants your kids to become educated. He wants this so badly that he is willing, when he becomes President, to give you a voucher. This voucher would entitle your child to “one education” at the school of his choice, with the curriculum of his choice and the teachers of his choice. Each school wouldd be paid a minimal amount per student and have to guarantee that only approved ideas...
11 tags
Reality Check
I am often called a “progressive”. While I prefer that to being called “regressive” I would say that my personal politics are more active than that. It’s not that I disagree with most Progressive policies, it’s that they don’t go far enough. Let me explain. I think that most self called progressives would agree that Mitt Romney and his ilk are a waste...
9 tags
Romney - Turd Of 100 Faces
It would be simple to dismiss Mitt Romney as a simple sociopath with a mayonaise coating, but we serious people don’t just call people names. We dig for facts. We weigh and balance, we caution and then we mete out our reasoned and balanced judgement in well crafted sentences. Even if I believed, for example, that Mitt Romney is so pure that he masturbates to the photos of women’s foundation...
6 tags
#OccupyToronto Mayor Rob Ford
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is an untreated alcoholic and drug adddict. He may also be a compulsive over eater and sex addict, but, he has definitely been arrested on several occaisons for impaired driving, posssesion of drugs and refusing to blow into a breathalyzer. He has shown by his actions that he is imperious, restless, irritable, discontented, paranoid and delusional. Also he has no sense of...
A Short Unfair And Unbalanced Look
Please note: Everything that I have written below is either fact, opinion or speculation. Any facts that cannot be verified should be taken as opinion. Take that libel laws. The 2012 election is boring. All the really interesting GOP candidates have dropped out of the race. The survivor is so boring and sad that he should be bottled and sold as a sleep remedy. Yes, I mean Mitt Romney. The saddest...
7 tags
Even More From Ann Romney's Diary
Dear Diary I don’t get what all the fuss is about. Mitty is a good man who, when he has a job, tries to provide for us. The fact that he teased a sissy boy, for being a sissy boy, is not wrong. It’s what real men do. That’s how we know who is better and a natural leader, and who is a lower class of person. It’s the way the universe was created. There is a natural order to...
More From Ann Romney's Diary
Dear Diary May the Lord bless Ricky Santorun and his lovely wife, what’s her name. In endorsing Mitty for president Ricky Santorum has shown that Catholics are almost as good as Jews. I should really talk to Mitty about baptising dead Catholics next, so they can also enjoy the glory of the after life. Of course that might cause some sort of hooraw, but what can you do, if you’re just...
From Ann Romney's Diary
Dear Diary Yes, God has seen fit to gift me with Multiple Sclerosis and, yes, I bear it proudly. Can you imagine that some people call this a disease? It is a gift so that I can proudly show Americans that you don’t need socialized medicine and free doctors and hospitals to live with a an incurable illness. All it takes is a team of nurses, personal care workers, special lifts, a special...
More Excerpts from Ann Romney's Diary
Dear Diary I don’t know why they make fun of the Latter Day Saints. All we want is to help people live correctly. And if they’re dead, we baptize them to make sure that they died correctly.It was unkind and wicked of those awful gays to baptize Mitty’s daddy as homosexual after he was dead especially since he he was my guide when Mitty was off helping those poor French people...
Excerpts From Ann Romney's Diary
Dear Diary The lying liberal press has been reporting that my Mitty is ‘stiff’ and ‘unresponsive’. This is such a false narrative. He is wild man! Even last night he said to me, “Mrs Romney, I think instead of Meat loaf Monday we should counter the lying liberal lying press’ allegations and have Pizza.” Of course, that threw Lupina, our cook, for a loop,...
April 2012
4 posts
Surprise!
I want to state first, that I am NOT anti gun. I like guns. I know how to shoot and how to clean a gun. Now…. The NRA tells us that “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people”. They miss the point.. Guns are weapons that are designed to kill. They are pure offense. If someone says that she is buying a gun to defend herself herself, then she doesn’t understand what it is that guns do. What you...
20 Things Not To Do At A Wedding Ceremony
Wedding season is approaching quickly. Here is a short list of wedding don’ts. 1: Auction off nude pictures of the bride 2: Mumble the word “bullshit” dring the vows 3: Make out with the Groom’s mom with visible tongue 4: Sell Amway or time shares to the built in crowd 5: When the officiant asks if anyone objects, clear your throat loudly 6: Arrive in a clown suit and do...
Dead Boring
The reason that most people give for not being involved in politics is that politics is boring. It’s always the same thing over and over again. The same candidates with the same predigested messages. The fear of looking foolish. The fear of saying or doing something “off message”. The fear of having a skeleton from the past appear. Conventional politics appears boring, because ...
3 tags
Excerpts From Ann Romney's Diary
Dear Diary How dare that Diane Sawyer question whether or not our Seamus liked riding on the roof of our car. Of course he did. Granted, we had to try out several dogs that could ‘enjoy’ that particular ride. It’s like ‘wifely duties’. You close your eyes and think of the children, and however distatasteful it is, after 30 seconds, it’s over. And I know that...
March 2012
1 post
2 tags
Really?
A few nights ago, because I had a free evening, I turned on the TV and was bombarded with over 200 channels all screaming at me to buy something. I needed whiter whites! I needed whiter teeth! I was too hairy in some places and my hair was the wrong color in others. Some felt that I didn’t have enough hair! I continued flipping through the channels. All that was on were game shows. On one...
December 2011
2 posts
4 tags
Understanding Ron Paul
Ron Paul’s followers keep telling me that his policies make sense. Even amongst the accusations of racism they keep telling me that his policies make sense. Before today, I had no idea what Dr. Paul’s policies even might consist of, so in fairness I decided to look at what Dr. Paul proposes for US policy at home and abroad. My research materials consisted of Wikipedia and a Wifi...
5 tags
A Good Joe
It’s raining in Toronto right now. It’s cold and dreary and chilly, not exactly winter weather, but enough to make you crave a hot chocolate and to avoid going outside. It’s the exact opposite of the warm and sunny day in Santa Monica when I met Joe Bodolai and had lunch with him and he reminisced about his career in TV and film and expressed frustration over his life in LA. I...
November 2011
2 posts
Joel West 11/25 by Crobama | Blog Talk Radio →
I drop by and talk with Darren about food, politics, Canada and comedy.
Herman Cain and The Politics of Fear
Herman Cain is a man of faith. We know this because he sang a song. If you sing Amazing Grace in front of a TV crowd you must have some sort of faith, at least in your ability not to nauseate and create gastrointestinal distress. We know that as a man of faith Herman Cain wants you to believe in him and his ability to to guide and lead the USA.
Then why is Herman Cain commited to making people...
October 2011
8 posts
Cain Calls Romney Names
I get email fro Cain and Romney in my spam. Here Cain calls Romney names: CAIN FOR PRESIDENT 2360 Corporate Drive, Suite 400 Henderson, Nevada 89074-7722 800-362-2723 Dear Fellow American, If you support Herman Cain for President, prepare to be outraged. Crass political manipulation by Mitt Romney and his supporters in Florida threatens to undermine Herman Cain’s...
A Homily - My LA Experience
I was staying in the guest house belonging to a Facebook friend who lives in Bel Air. She congratulated me on my weight loss and stated that ‘I don’t do anything and yet I keep the shape I’m in.’ The next night her personal trainer came over. I prefer the charitable approach - maybe she doesn’t know she has a personal trainer who works out with her three times a...
2 Hours in an Alternate Dimension
As you may know, I am extremely progressive. I am not just “Liberal”, I am way out there, spinning out in Left field. And then today, for 2 hours, I was in a completely different universe. Words had different meanings. People were nice and kind and polite, but there was little to no communication going on. I spent 2 hours with conservatives. I kept my temper. I bit my tongue so many...
To America With Love
I’ll be turning 50 tonight and I am both happy and sad. Happy because at one point in my life I never thought I would make it past 35 and sad because all my friends and the people I love are elsewhere. Still, I am in Los Angeles and it’s over 100 degrees Fahrenheit outside (for the rest of the world, that’s about 38 degrees Celsius). And I guess that’s part of what has me...
The Face Of Revolution
What does revolution look like? It looks like Cheryl Holt, a New York Times best selling novelist and Burbank resident who got angry enough at the current banking establishment that, all by herself, she formed Occupy Burbank. Tired of being “screwed by the banks” Ms. Holt got angry today, wrote up four signs and started protesting. This is what revolution looks like: Sent via...
Names
I was called a racist and a misogynist on twitter because I am anti Herman Cain and anti Michele Bachman. I can handle that, because notwithstanding the fact that I am also pro Obama and Clinton, I know what these words actually mean. Let’s dig a little deeper, you and I, and let’s have a look at facts and factoids, at statistics and figures and let’s explore some English...
Corporations are People Too
Having only recently come to the USA, I was informed that corporations are people too. I found it fascinating that Corporations have the right to free speech. And since they are people, I guess this explains their generally bad behavior, except at block parties. And corporations don’t go to block parties.
The fact that the US government was willing to grant the right of free speech to a...
The DAMage Report
If you missed the DAMage report last night, I was on it and here is a link to it: http://tinyurl.com/tdrrs-093011 twitter:IAmJoelWest
Posted via email from I Comic | Comment »
September 2011
2 posts
Post Postmodern Jew – Rosh Hashanah Thoughts From...
I am a Jew. When I say the word “Jew” these days, I find I need to clarify often unasked question “What kind of Jew?” This is still better than when I was living in rural Texas. In Texas the only times I heard the word Jew it was used as a verb. Either that or it was always prefaced by a swear word. One night in Texas I said that I was a Jew on stage and a local person told me I ought to be nicer...
Greetings From LA
This is my first Los Angeles blog post. This is a weird place. LA essentials for daily life seem to include Burgers, Psychics, Massages and Plastic surgery. Traffic here is 24 hours a day non stop with never a hint of stopping. When people say yes to your face it can mean “No” or “Yes” or “I already own a rubber penguin”. I’m starting to get aclimated...
August 2011
2 posts
Is this really needful in August?
http://www.joelwest.com Twitter: IAmJoelWest Posted via email from I Comic | Comment »
72 lbs thinner.
Joel West joel@joelwest.com http://www.joelwest.com Twitter: IAmJoelWest +15142424940 Posted via email from I Comic | Comment »
July 2011
1 post
4 tags
Live interview
7-23-11.mp3 Listen on Posterous Live interview with David Nankoff on VIP Internet Radio.
Posted via email from I Comic | Comment »
June 2011
2 posts
Chili chicken and Garlicky Mushrooms
One thing you need to know about me is that I’m lazy. I like good food and I like losing weight but at night, during the summer, there are so many better things worth doing. I made the blueberry/strawberry salsa (see below and add blueberries) during the weekend. I cubed 3 large deboned and deskinned chicken breasts and dredged them in chili powder, then sauteed them in extra virgin olive...
Bible Study: Deeds Count
I’ve been a slacker. It’s been two full weeks since I last posted here. In my defense, the past two weeks have been extremely eventful but that doesn’t give me license to slack off, especially since, if the religious right wins, the Bible will become the official history and science text. We left (no pun intended) off just after the famous “binding of Isaac”. This...
May 2011
8 posts
Bible Study: My Son, The Barbecue
And God told Abraham to take Isaac, his son, his only son, whom he loved and to sacrifice him. Abraham tried to do so. But wait! Reality check: Isaac was 30 years old when this happened. If, for some reason, you’re picturing a young scared boy stop it now. This changes the dynamic completely. Instead of taking a naïve child to be slaughtered, Abraham was either A: taking a consenting adult...
Bible Study: Enter Laughing
It’s Wednesday night bible study. Twice a week, less when I’m lazy, we go through a chapter of the Bible as if it was really history and science. This week, the birth of Isaac. Isaac was born to Abraham and Sarah and he was named that, the Bible tells us, because the roots of the names are similar. This is, what the ancient Hebrews called “a pun”. Of course, this caused...
Sick Person's Chicken Soup
Yes, I made myself chicken soup. A purist would say that I cheated but I’m sick. And it’s easy to make.
1 Large Onion diced 3 Celery stalks diced Prewashed Baby Carrots diced 1 Chicken breast cubed 2 cartons of Organic Chicken broth 3 tablespoons of Extra virgin olive oil
Get a large saucepan and sauté the veggies until the onion is translucent. Add one carton of broth and bring to...
Chunky Strawberry Salsa
Ingredients: 1 medium onion diced 5 jalepeno peppers with seeds diced 1 Green bell pepper diced 2 pints of strawberries (washed and tops off) and diced 3 small tomatoes diced 1 clove of garlic diced 5 Chopped Cilantro leaves Juice of one lime Salt and pepper to taste Optional: 1/4 tsp of cumin Sauté the onion, the peppers and the garlic until the onion just turns translucent. Remove from heat...
Chunky Strawberry Salsa
Ingredients: 1 medium onion diced 5 jalepeno peppers with seeds diced 1 Green bell pepper diced 2 pints of strawberries (washed and tops off) and diced 3 small tomatoes diced 1 clove of garlic diced 5 Chopped Cilantro leaves Juice of one lime Salt and pepper to taste Optional: 1/4 tsp of cumin Sauté the onion, the peppers and the garlic until the onion just turns translucent. Remove from heat and...
11 tags
Bible Study: Brothers, Sisters and Other Sex...
Yes, my dear friends, I did take a hiatus to refuel the creative juices. I would call you Brothers and Sisters, but I’ve read this week’s chapter and I don’t know you well enough to sleep with you. No offense? A reminder, here, that we are reading the Bible as a literalist would. From the point of view of these blog posts, this is History and Science all rolled up into one. If...
My Letter to The Christians
Dear Christians: I have a number of sincerely devout, intelligent friends who are Christian. They truly love their God, are sincere in their beliefs and want to be able to worship Him in the manner they see fit. This is why it pains them to see them lumped in with the self styled “Christians” who are ignorant bullies. The Neo Conservatives, in the need to find a religious umbrella,...
Bible Study: Sodomy and Gommorah
In our continuing study of the Bible, we meet some challenging passages. The story of the destruction of Sodom as read literally from the Bible is a prime example of this issue. Let’s read through together and I’ll show you what I mean. Lot, Abraham’s brother and also a holy man, but not as holy as Abraham, was waiting outside the city of Sodom when 2 Angels happened by. Lot...
April 2011
27 posts
Grilled Chicken with Mango Salsa
I’ve been in a great mood all day today. I posted a new post on my Bible study blog http://www.joelwest.com/bible-study-laughter-sons-and-sin (warning satire). I decided to treat myself. I bought some grain fed, organic chicken and a mango, an onion, some jalepeno peppers, a lime, some mint leaves, a pineapple, 2 pears and some grape tomatoes. I also bought some prewashed baby romaine...
Bible Study: Laughter, Sons and Sin
So, Abram circumcised himself and his entire household. This makes him the first mohel. We find him sitting in shade resting when he sees three men in the distance. He invites them in and offers them hospitality. He wants to offer them the best he has., In an early example of male chauvinism, he orders Sarai to prepare a huge feast. Sarai, her consciousness not having been raised, agrees. For some...
What I Eat
I’ve lost over 40 lbs. I am amazed that in 2 months I was able to lose weight and enjoy the process. People ask me what my secret is. Is there a huge secret to weight loss? In my case the huge secret is 4 fold: Eat less. Eat simple food. Drink more water. Exercise more. A caution here. I am not a physician or a medical person of any sort. I am not a nutritionist. I am just a guy who is...
Lunch today
Pan grilled chicken in a lime juice reduction with “spring salad” and fine herbs with tomato salsa. Grumpy Jew Productions joel@joelwest.com http://www.joelwest.com Posted via email from Playing With My Food | Comment »
12 tags
Bible Study: The First Cut is the Deepest
As an aside, I adore that Netflix is one of the Google ads that shows up on the online King James Bible. When I think Bible. I think Netflix. Now back to our story. When we last left Abram he had been kicked out of Egypt but re-united with Lot. They got rich together and then, as family will, they couldn’t keep it together. They split the business. We are warned for some reason that the...